I remember the goosebumps I got while trying to fight back the tears when he told the story about the time he witnessed American soldiers in Iraq shooting at a car when the car didn’t stop after warning shots were fired. And the overwhelming and sad sense of emotion I heard in his voice when he continued by describing finding the two people who were in the front seats, dead, and the five children of those two people screaming in the back seat, covered in their mother and father’s blood. It would be one of those scenes where I could sense what was coming and have enough time to look away from the movie screen so that I wouldn’t have the visual memory. But this was real life, and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it was to see and photograph such an event.

Chris Hondros, the man who took said photographs and shared this story, died yesterday in Misrata, Libya as did fellow photojournalist Tim Hetherington. Two other photographers, Guy Martin and Michael Christopher Brown were wounded in the same shelling attack.

Though I never knew Chris personally, I was incredibly inspired by him and what he did … for giving voices to those who didn’t have them. I couldn’t understand why there was such a sadness in me after reading about his death. We didn’t even know each other personally. And yet I feel like I’ve experienced a loss. Maybe it’s the attachment I felt from the inspiration that his life’s work fed me that makes it seem personal. Whatever it is, I feel it.

Chris told us in the barn at the Eddie Adams Workshop about his experience as a war photographer. He wasn’t cocky or acting like a hot shot; I remember how humble he was, and honest. And knowing that he was an alumni of the same workshop that I was going through at that very moment really really gave me hope (for myself). Which I know I have written about a thousand times.

I fully regret not getting to know Chris better when I had the chance, especially since I was invited to a few of his legendary parties when I lived in NYC. I don’t know why I never went but can imagine that being incredibly intimidated was probably a factor.

Anyway. I guess this is my way of sharing his legacy. And not keeping whatever it is bottled inside. If you didn’t know about him, now you do.

The story on the events and their death can be read here. And here is a blog post by C.J. Chivers, a Times reporter who is working in Libya, about the events leading to how they got Chris and Tim headed home. The post by C.J. is obviously a more personal account.

Vanity Fair’s editor said this of Tim which I’m sure could also be true of Chris: “We’re just devastated here. But he lived for this. And this sort of thing did not faze him. It’s what gave him life, and it’s what took it away from him.”

Images that Chris took hours before his death: http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/20/chris-hondros-at-work-in-libya/

A beautiful letter:  Sebastian Juger Remembers Tim Hetherington

Much love and condolences to Chris’ fiancée, family and friends and Tim’s as well. Prayers for the safety of Michael Christopher Brown and for Guy Martin who is still in critical condition.